is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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