She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
