I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
