He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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