im drinking this country out of the recession.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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