I think i peed on brittanys purse
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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