i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
