Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
