so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
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You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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