is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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