I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
