i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
