it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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