Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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