The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
