I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Did we just second hand smoke crack?