this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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