Dual....:-)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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