You work out of a Hotel?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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