Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
