Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
