Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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