You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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