Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
