why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
