he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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