he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
