I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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