he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
my poor anus
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize