that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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