If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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