I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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