idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I could make wine with my vomit
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize