i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
