when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sobbing to NWA
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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