I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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