Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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