Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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