dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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