god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
