make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
