ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
