I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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