but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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