I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
