New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize