Will you blow on my dice?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
