let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
