put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
