D3 body, D1 cock
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
NoShamevember. You game?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
