we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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