i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
