? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You don't make any sense
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