Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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