life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
