well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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