worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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