babies were throwing up all over the place
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
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