i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
