Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
