I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize