I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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